Parents perspective--You're now in the closet

I know parents sometimes will find out that their child is gay/lesbian and go into hiding. And it makes complete sense why you go into hiding. As a parent, you want the best for your child. And now that you know something about your child that is so different from what you've always wanted and hoped for your child, you 've gone into hiding. Don't worry about having gone into hiding. It makes sense why you have. It always takes a long time before you are ready to come out to your friends as a parent of a child who is gay/lesbian.

Think of it this way. Your gay/lesbian child went into hiding after they realized that they were gay/lesbian. They spent a lot of time in that closet playing with those hangers, and trying to figure out how everything fit together to make sense. Your gay/lesbian child had a lot of questions they asked. And once they found the answers to their questions, everything began to make sense and come together. It isn't easy being in the cloest. But after spending some time in the closet, everything begins to make sense.

I literally spent about six to seven years of my life in the closet. And it wasn't the best six to seven years of my life. I was in late middle school/early high school when I went into the closet. My biggest issue was fear. I was scared of how my parents would react when I came out. I was scared of how my friends would react when I came out. I was really scared of the possiblity that nobody would be supportive. And that's something that I lived with for six or seven years. After a while I was no longer scared of the reaction of my friends or family. I had come to realize that no matter how the people around me reacted to my coming out, I would always be the same person I had always been.

Think of it this way: the only difference between now and before you knew your child is gay/lesbian is that you know what sex they are attracted to. Other than that they are the same exact person that they were before.

Don't give up on life just because you are gay/lesbian or because your child is. I know just how many questions you might have about it. But that doesn't mean that you should give up on life. Life will get better. I'm living proof. My life has gotten so much better.

Prental Reaction

Every parent who finds out that their son or daughter is gay reacts differently. Some parents will disown their gay child because of their belief that being gay is wrong. Some parents will try to turn you straight. Some parents will attempt to convince themselves that their child being gay is just a phase. And some parents will go into hiding for a period of time, and when they emerge from hiding they are pround of their gay child. And yet other parents are accepting and proud of their gay child the moment they find out. Every parent is different, so no two parents with children who are gay react the same way to their child coming out.

I am lucky enough to have parents that didn't try to disown me or try to turn me straight. When I told my parents, they struggled a wlittle with how to cope with my sexuality. They were okay with my being gay, or at least my mom was. But my dad was a bit confused, and asked me if I knew myself well enough to really know that I am gay. He's still struggling, and is in hiding at the moment as he figures out how he personally will cope with having a gay daughter. But my mom was very accepting of my coming out, and very supportive. In fact she began getting together with people who also hae a child who is gay.

If your parents hate your guts for being gay, think of it this way--they don't realize that this is something that you cannot control. Don't give up on life just because your parents don't accept you because of your sexuality. Remember that it does get better. Stick around long enough to see all the good things that will come in time.