Return from the land of e-mail

Once again I have neglected my blog. :-(

This time I have a good reason, and some great stories to tell.

Did I mention that I am busy with a new "job"? I guess not. So here we go.

Early last month I began the process of putting together the cast and crew of my first full length feature film. The film is about a young woman who is a Lesbian, and her relationships. And it sure has been an adventure now that I am a month into the process. I am still in the process of casting, and have a couple more people to audition.

Quite some time ago I saw the film titled"Loving Annabelle" for the first time. And I must say that it was one of those films that you just don't forget. In a way it reminded me of my senior year, when I found myself attracted to one of my teachers, and didn't act on it. Shortly after watching "Loving Annabelle" I watched "The Gymnast". Both movies were well done. And the thing I remember after watching both films (besides how eaisly I connected with the stories and characters), was how well they were filmed-how beautiful so many of the shots were.

Maybe those movies changed me more that I originally thought that did. Having seen them, I finally realized that there was a place for films about gays and lesbians.

And so the process began for me in early May. And now, just over a month in, I have found myself overwealmed by the fact that this is really happening, and that now I am finishing up auditions and now am beginning to make decisions on who to cast for which roles.

Did I mention that I have found so much talent in Michigan, especially the children that have auditioned?

Beyond the chaos that my life has become, I've found myself so appretiative of other gays and lesbians that have influenced me. I don't know if I would be out today if I didn't know that other people had gone through the process of coming out before me. I don't know where I would be if I didn't know that my Mom has a cousin that is gay.

And so now I am returning to the land of e-mails, phone calls, auditions, and making decisions on who to cast and who not to cast.

Video--Chely Wright's coming out story

Jill Bennett

Cathy DeBuno

Film production

I am not just a lesbian blogger. I am also a writer, and a film maker. And the film maker in me is coming here to get the help I need to begin production of a film that is about a lesbian.

I recently came across a script that captured my attention. After having read it, I realized that this would be a great script to film. And so I am coming to this audience, knowing that people that read this are likley to be gay, lesbian, or supporters of gays and lesbians. This script has a strong lesbian theme to it, and shows how normal lesbian life is.

The whole premise is that there is a young woman who is a lesbian, and adopted, and her journey to find her place in the world. It truly is a coming of age story.

If you would like to know more about this project, this is the paragraph you need to read. If you want to know more about the script, plot, or production, e-mail me at Homethemove@ymail.com
with your questions, and a subject line of more info. If you want to participate in this project as an actor e-mail me at Homethemove@ymail.com with the subject line of actor, attach your resume and photo. If you want to sink some money into this project so it can be done, go to http://www.indiegogo.com/Homethemovie

Video-coming out

It's hard

First memories of knowing you are gay/lesbian

Sorry that I've been out of sight and not posting for so long! I've pretty busy with Lent, handbell rehersals, Easter, working in my church's nursery, trying to find a full time job, and writing a script for script frenzy (www.scriptfrenzy.org). But I'm back to post!

Everyone has their first memories of when they first realized/knew that they are gay/lesbian. And for me that is no different. For me my first memory of knowing that I was different, and knowing that I am a lesbian were quite spread out. In fifth grade I remember thinking that my teacher was beautiful, and that I was feeling so different from my peers. And after that I knew that I was different from my peers, but really didn't have a good way to descibe why I was so different. Throughout middle school and high school, I didn't really like the words gay, lesbian, and homosexual, even though I knew (in the back of my head) that that's what I was and am, and that there was nothing I could do about it.

Later on in my life, while I was working at Dow Gardens, I realized that nothing had changed. I realized that this was who I am. I realized that I had grown up. I realized that I had come to accept myself as a gay; as a lesbian.

Being out at school-coming out and being out

Being out at school can't be easy for anyone. I know it was something that I struggled with for quite some time. I questioned wether or not I should come out to my peers, or if I should keep my sexuality to myself for a long time while I was in high school and college.

There are people out there that are in school that will never accept you for who you are. It's sad that people can't accept their peers for their sexuality. But it's part of life. The best thing I can tell you about being out at school is surround yourself with people who care, and who accept you no matter what. If people at school begin to bully you because you are openly gay/lesbian, then go to a teacher, principle or counslor. Somebody in a position of authority at your school should be able to help you deal with bullies that bully you simply because of your sexuality.

Many times you can find at least one teacher or staff member at the school you go to who will be understanding and supportive, and who can help you so much. At the high school that I went to there was one particular teacher who students were sure was a lesbian. I wish that I had gone to her and found out, and told her that I am a lesbian. I think I might have found somebody who I would have gotten along with quite well, and who probobly would have been a huge supporter of me. But I never did go to that teacher. Instead I spent a lot of time around the band directors, and they were like parents to the band. Anytime I was having a bad day, the band directors were right there with me, willing to listen or just be there.

Find someone, anyone, at the school you go to that is supportive of gays and lesbians. Stay with them, and don't ever forget that there are other people out there that have gone through what you are going through, and have proven that life DOES get better.

Hang in there.

Work--being openly gay/lesbian

I know it's not easy to come out of the closet, especially to your coworkers. And not everyone that you work with is going to be accepting of the fact that you are gay/lesbian. So you really have to scope out what the company your work for says about being openly gay/lesbian. I do know that some places, like Dow, are very accepting of gays and lesbians being in the work force.

Being openly lesbian at work was something I struggled with for a good three years before I knew that it would be okay for me to be openly gay/lesbian at work. My first summer job was at Dow Gardens. That was where I struggled the most with my sexuality. It didn't help that I found myself attracted to some of my co-workers, and was nowhere near ready to come out to anyone when I worked there. And that forced me into this whole other world of not feeling very comfortable. Thankfully I have since gotten over the fear of coming out. The summer after working at Dow Gardens I worked for the local minor leauge baseball team in food service. I still wasn't out to anyone. But I was much more comfortable in my own skin. By the summer of 2010, when I was fully out, including with the minor leauge team that I had worked for the past two seasons, I went back to work for them. The cool thing was that no one interacted with me any differently. The only difference was that in the employee handbook there was a mention that they will and would not discriminate based on sexuality.

My point is, find out how your employeer feels about having employees that are openly gay/lesbian and go from there.

Is it a choice?

Is being gay or lesbian a choice? That is today's topic.

There are people that believe that people choose to be gay or lesbian. Some people believe that being gay or lesbian is a sin. There are people who believe that a person who is gay or lesbian can change and become straight. And there are people that believe some combination of the above. And whatever you believe in is fine with me. Believe what you want about gays and lesbians, but don't force your opinions on me.

We do not choose wether we are gay, lesbian, bi, or straight. It's just how we are born. I don't have absolute proof to prove that people are born with their sexuality. But I believe that we are born with a specific sexuality. I know that I wasn't born straight, and that I was born gay. I know people who were born straight that know for sure that they weren't born gay.

As a young child I was not fully aware of my sexuality. But as I've grown up, I've learned about myself and my sexuality. I learned that I wouldn't be like anyone else. I learned that my sexuality was different. But no matter how long I tried to deny myself of my feelings, they kept on coming back. And it was when they kept on coming back that I knew that I was gay, was a lesbian, and that I would never be able to change how I feel for other women.

"It's a phase"

"It's a phase"--this is so untrue. There are the people out there who litterally are experimenting, and grow out of it. But there are a lot of us who are NOT experimenting and are NOT going through a phase. It's okay if you say that it's a phase when someone really is going through a phase. But please please please don't say that it's a phase. I hate it when people say that I'm going through a phase.

It's hard to hear someone tell you what you are going to find yourself attracted to, especially when they aren't the ones who really know what you are attracted too. If you happen to be straight and a reading this, think of it this way. I could go up to any person who is straight and tell them that what they feel for people of the opposite sex is just a phase, you would say that I'm crazy for saying that. Well that's what it's like when someone says "It's a phase" to someone who is truley gay.

Here's a question I pose to those of you who are straight: how did you know you were straight? I have a feeling that you just knew that you were attracted to people of the opposite sex. That's the way it is for gays and lesbians. We just know that we are attracted to people of the same sex.

If you think that those of us who are gay or lesbian are just going through a phase, I'm sorry to break it too you, but we really are gay or lesbian.