First memories of knowing you are gay/lesbian

Sorry that I've been out of sight and not posting for so long! I've pretty busy with Lent, handbell rehersals, Easter, working in my church's nursery, trying to find a full time job, and writing a script for script frenzy (www.scriptfrenzy.org). But I'm back to post!

Everyone has their first memories of when they first realized/knew that they are gay/lesbian. And for me that is no different. For me my first memory of knowing that I was different, and knowing that I am a lesbian were quite spread out. In fifth grade I remember thinking that my teacher was beautiful, and that I was feeling so different from my peers. And after that I knew that I was different from my peers, but really didn't have a good way to descibe why I was so different. Throughout middle school and high school, I didn't really like the words gay, lesbian, and homosexual, even though I knew (in the back of my head) that that's what I was and am, and that there was nothing I could do about it.

Later on in my life, while I was working at Dow Gardens, I realized that nothing had changed. I realized that this was who I am. I realized that I had grown up. I realized that I had come to accept myself as a gay; as a lesbian.

Being out at school-coming out and being out

Being out at school can't be easy for anyone. I know it was something that I struggled with for quite some time. I questioned wether or not I should come out to my peers, or if I should keep my sexuality to myself for a long time while I was in high school and college.

There are people out there that are in school that will never accept you for who you are. It's sad that people can't accept their peers for their sexuality. But it's part of life. The best thing I can tell you about being out at school is surround yourself with people who care, and who accept you no matter what. If people at school begin to bully you because you are openly gay/lesbian, then go to a teacher, principle or counslor. Somebody in a position of authority at your school should be able to help you deal with bullies that bully you simply because of your sexuality.

Many times you can find at least one teacher or staff member at the school you go to who will be understanding and supportive, and who can help you so much. At the high school that I went to there was one particular teacher who students were sure was a lesbian. I wish that I had gone to her and found out, and told her that I am a lesbian. I think I might have found somebody who I would have gotten along with quite well, and who probobly would have been a huge supporter of me. But I never did go to that teacher. Instead I spent a lot of time around the band directors, and they were like parents to the band. Anytime I was having a bad day, the band directors were right there with me, willing to listen or just be there.

Find someone, anyone, at the school you go to that is supportive of gays and lesbians. Stay with them, and don't ever forget that there are other people out there that have gone through what you are going through, and have proven that life DOES get better.

Hang in there.