I know it's been a while since I've posted here. But that's what happens when your life becomes hectic. And so now I'm back, and hoping to write posts more regularly. I know I've posted about being gay and religious before. But I realize that being gay and believing in a God isn't exactly easy to make happen. And for me it wasn't easy to combine the two.
Back in middle school, when I was becoming more aware of the fact that I was different from my friends and classmates, I went through a phase where I didn't really believe in a God. And that was after having a strong belief that there was a God in elementary school. I know that middle school is a tough age for many of us. For me it was particularly hard. Dealing with feeling so different wasn't easy. I can remember thinking that there wasn't a God during sixth grade, seventh grade, and most of eighth grade. The summer between seventh grade and eigth grade I spent a week of my life at confirmation camp. At that point I was at my all time low point with my faith. And during that week nothing changed a whole lot for me. I noticed how many of the people that worked the camp seemed to have this strong faith. And I couldn't understand how their faith was strong. I had a long way to go before my faith was anywhere near as strong as the staff's faith was.
The next summer, I got the chance to go back to confirmation camp, and decided to go again. I had seen the strengh of the faith of the staff at the camp. I wanted to understand how and why their faith had become so strong. I didn't know what to believe. And that second time at camp made a difference in my life. I found a sliver of faith that week at confirmation camp after eighth grade. My belief that there was a God out there grew a little. But I still wasn't sure if I had a connection with the God that I now (after that second week at confirmation camp) believed in.
Since then I've been through so much. And I've found that my faith has grown slowley. And as it's grown, I've come to realize that even though God might not speak to me in a booming voice, he has ways of communicating with me.
If you aren't religious, don't believe that there is a God, I'm noot one of those religious nuts who will tell you that you have to convert or else go to hell. I'm just one of those people who believes in God, who accepts people for who they are, and who accepts everyone for what they believe in.