Sunday, February 20, 2011

How did I come out?

It seems like I've been asked this question a lot latly: how did you come out? So I thought I would address it here, and get it done and over with.

During October of 2008, I was ready to begin coming out to my friends and family. The problem was that I didn't want everyone to know right away. I wanted to come out to just a few people at first. I wasn't ready to tell everyone yet. But I wanted a few people to know. Since my closest friends and I were all over the place, and we rarly saw each other, I decided to send them an e-mail. I sent my four closest friends an e-mail telling them that I am gay. They were perfectly fine with my being gay, and that meant a lot to me simply because it meant that I had support from people that were close to me.

A year later, I was ready to come out to the rest of my friends and my family. On a Tuesday afternoon I decided to check my facebook, and I posted a status update wondering why some things are so hard. I was specifically thinking about how hard it is to find the right words to tell people that you are gay. Within a few minutes I had a response from a friend of mine from a friend of mine, which gave me the idea of how to come out to my friends and family all at once. I posted a status update that said something to the extent of: "Some things are hard so that we learn to overcome. It's time that I said it. I'm gay.". Moments later I had to log off the computer and head to class.

Since then coming out has gotten so much easier. In the last year and a half I've been standing in a line at the store, and a guy behind me asked me out, and I was able to tell him that I'm gay and that no, I don't want to date him. The more times you come out, the easier it gets, and the more confident you become in who you are.

It does get better. Just take your time. Don't expect to come out by a predetermined date. Just come out when YOU are ready, not when someone else is ready for you to do it.

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